


How do you sleep?

by feentanz



Series: One Shots [19]
Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Smut, actually idk what this is exactly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 09:03:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feentanz/pseuds/feentanz
Summary: “You’re gifting me lingerie now?” she asked, glaring at him while trying to cover up the fact that the black lacy piece in the box actually was right up her alley. He really knew her too well. Nikolai had the audacity to grin, taking the box from her hands. “Care to put it on?” he asked, a challenge in his voice. Zoya returned his look, batting her lashes. “Wouldn’t you rather put it on me?” She felt a strong satisfaction when Nikolai dropped the box, growling in frustration before his lips finally connected with hers, pushing her back against the door. “I’d rather have you without anything for now,” he breathed against her ear, his teeth softly digging into her earlobe, then kissing the side of her neck.





	How do you sleep?

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Hogwartsonline OWL's; Prompts: "This winter ball is boring, so we're off to a room upstairs" + "Lingerie as a present" + "You look beautiful with snow in your hair"

Zoya was sitting on one of the sofas in the corner of the ballroom, legs crossed, and a glass of whiskey in her right hand. She was watching the dance floor, lots and lots of Ravkan officials spinning their dance partners around to the music. Tamar and Nadia were among them, Tamar softly leading Nadia to the rhythm of the music, kissing the top of her head. Perhaps Zoya envied them a little. 

“Don’t tell me you are not enjoying my ball,” a voice suddenly interrupted her, and Genya sank down next to her. Her cheeks were flushed from the wine, matching the deep red of her dress. “You look awfully bored.”   
  
Zoya offered her an apologetic look, taking a sip from her drink. She had never quite enjoyed balls, let alone those official ones. “Half of the Shu ministers already asked me to dance, only to let their hands slip a little too low,” she muttered. 

Genya raised a brow. “And all of them are still alive?”

Valid point. Zoya huffed, throwing some hair over her shoulder. “I didn’t want to risk a national crisis,” she replied, her gaze automatically searching for the king among the guests. 

Nikolai was standing at the other end of the ballroom, talking to Kirigin and a few other counts. 

Just in this moment Kirigin was looking up, meeting Zoya’s gaze across the room. Now  _ that  _ was just very fortunate. She quickly turned away, downing the rest of her whiskey. She would need it, most likely. “How do I tell a Count that I am very not interested in dancing?” 

Genya frowned, just as Kirigin approached. “Oh,” she remarked dryly. 

“Commander Nazylalensky,” Kirin greeted, bowing his head. “Would you join me for a dance?” He lost no time, apparently.   
  
Zoya shot Genya a helpless look, but Genya simply shrugged and sipped her wine. “Are there no other ladies who you would rather dance with?” Zoya asked as she stood up, her eyes automatically wandering towards the king once more. This time he was subtly glaring at her, a certain tension now on his features. 

“No one looks as lovely as you do tonight,” Kirigin replied smoothly, and Zoya fought the urge to roll her eyes. 

She danced with him anyway, because the crown depended on his favour, and because the looks Nikolai was throwing her made it almost worth her while. He looked like he might as well come over and rip Kirigin’s throat out any moment. 

Eventually the song ended, and before Zoya could even come up with a proper excuse to flee from the dancefloor, the king was suddenly next to her. “Kirigin my friend.” Nikolai smiled, his gaze flicking towards Zoya once. “May I borrow my general for a dance?”   
  
Kirigin bowed, moving to kiss Zoya’s hand. “You’re always welcome to pay my estate a visit, Commander.” 

“I don’t much care for architecture,” Zoya simply replied, adding a honey sweet smile as she watched the count leave. 

Nikolai’s arm was already wrapping around her waist, perhaps a little too possessive to be a simple platonic gesture. “One day,” he muttered into her ear. “I’m going to lose my patience.” 

Zoya smirked, resisting the temptation to lean closer to the king, into the embrace. But they were being watched. “Careful, your Highness,” she muttered, letting her breathing graze the skin of his neck. “We’re not alone.” 

Nikolai tensed, restoring some of the space between their bodies. ”Kirigin is quite persistent,” he remarked. There was a jealous edge to his voice, and something else. Something questioning. 

Zoya glanced at him for a moment, wondering whether the king might truly think that she could ever be interested in Kirigin. “He is,” she confirmed, resting her hand on Nikolai’s shoulder in the process. Only to keep up the dance, of course. “But rich and handsome is not quite my type.” 

Nikolai’s tension eased ever so slightly as he chuckled, his fingers brushing over the spot where her back was exposed below the silk dress. “Good to know”, he replied, leaning in a little closer so his lips brushed against her ear. “Care to disappear for a bit?” 

Zoya raised a brow at him, not even noticing that the song had ended. They simply kept dancing. “Genya will be mad,” she remarked. Genya had planned the winter solstice ball all by herself - not that she had accepted anyone’s help, really - and she hated it when anyone left her parties early. Most of all Zoya and Nikolai. 

“We’ll be back before she knows it,” the king shrugged, scanning the room for the tailor. She was leaned against the bar, chatting to Nadia and Tamar, not paying the two of them any attention. Nikolai’s lips curled up in a wicked smirk. “I only need five minutes alone with you.” 

Zoya huffed, rolling her eyes. “You wish,” she muttered, although she could not help notice the way those words made her shiver with excitement. To be fair, she really wanted to disappear from this boring ball. 

“If the prospect of my company is not enough to lure you in,” Nikolai added. “I do also have a gift for you.”

She glanced up at him, studying his face. Ravka’s traditions did not usually encompass any gifts for winter solstice, but Nikolai had never quite cared for traditions anyway. And he was right, if Zoya got excited by anything, it was gifts. “Fine,” she admitted. “But only to see the gift.” 

Nikolai smirked, letting go of her and turning towards the door, careful to stay out of Genya’s sight. Better not to make her mad today. Zoya followed closely, slipping through the doors behind the king and finding herself in the deserted hallway, leading further inside the Little Palace.

As soon as the door to his chambers had closer behind them Nikolai had his arms wrapped around her, already placing kisses on her neck. Apparently he was getting impatient. 

“Didn’t you promise me a gift?” Zoya muttered, glancing over her shoulder to get a look at his face. “Or was that just to lure me here.” 

Nikolai chuckled, rather hesitantly letting go of her. “No,” he admitted. He reached for a large black box which was sitting on one of his tables, his lips curling up in a smirk as he handed it to her. “Although I have to admit, the gift is for both of us.”

Zoya raised a brow, giving him a confused look before opening the lid. And she immediately knew what Nikolai had meant.  _ He really had nerve.  _ “You’re gifting me lingerie now?” she asked, glaring at him while trying to cover up the fact that the black lacy piece in the box actually was right up her alley. He really knew her too well. 

Nikolai had the audacity to grin, taking the box from her hands. “Care to put it on?” he asked, a challenge in his voice. 

Zoya returned his look, batting her lashes. “Wouldn’t  _ you  _ rather put it on me?” 

She felt a strong satisfaction when Nikolai dropped the box, growling in frustration before his lips finally connected with hers, pushing her back against the door. “I’d rather have you without anything for now,” he breathed against her ear, his teeth softly digging into her earlobe, then kissing the side of her neck. 

Zoya sighed, her head falling back against the wood of the door as she wrapped her arms around the king’s neck, nails softly digging into the skin of his back as she pulled him just that little bit closer. 

It was these stolen moments that she yearned for, so much more than she would ever admit, even to Nikolai. The secrecy, the thrill, which made it all just the more exciting. And more addicting. At this rate, Zoya was no longer sure that she could stop even if she wanted to.

Nikolai was busy opening her dress, the fabric sinking to the floor just now. He was kissing her again, and if he had not held onto her so tightly she might have fainted. She hated this effect he was having on her most, the way it made her feel.  _ You’re a fool, Zoya,  _ her inner voice was hissing. Not that she would listen, while being kissed like this. 

Zoya had finally managed to get Nikolai out of his shirt, her nails digging into his back as he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his torso, desperately craving more contact, more, more, more. She couldn’t think. Half of the Ravkan delegation could walk into the room right this moment and she wouldn’t care, as long as he didn’t let go of her. 

Nikolai finally sank into her, his teeth digging into her bottom lip as he swallowed her moans with his kisses, because after all they were not supposed to be doing this at all, and perhaps it was not necessary for the entire palace to hear what was going on. Zoya felt her skin prickling under his touch as he slowly rolled his hips against her, so painfully slow that she gasped in frustration. 

Sadly, that seemed to encourage him even more because Nikolai simply chuckled, his lips tracing the outline of her jaw. Zoya could only hope that he didn’t leave any marks, because if he did they would have to explain this encounter to Genya. 

Nikolai’s fingers were digging into her thighs as he pushed deeper into her, Zoya struggling to keep breathing. This was going to drive her insane. She gasped as she felt herself being pressed closer against the door, closing her eyes as she drifted closer to the edge with each thrust, her nails scraping across Nikolai’s back hard enough to leave some marks of her own. 

Zoya felt the world around her slowing down as she came, tearing Nikolai down with her. She was panting, still clinging to his body because she was not quite sure whether her own legs would be there to support her just yet. Nikolai pressed another kiss to her neck, this time without the hunger and the hurry. His lips barely brushed against her skin, soft enough to send a shiver racing down her spine. 

“Next time I’ll make you wear my gift,” he whispered into her ear, gently letting her down. 

Zoya was barely able to produce a small huff, leaning her back against the door for support. Fainting right into the king’s arms was not very high on her list of priorities. “We should probably get back to the ball,” she muttered, still catching her breath. She wondered if she would ever get used to any of this. 

Nikolai nodded, already pulling his shirt back over his head. “Genya probably noticed we are gone by now.”    
_ Great _ . Zoya sighed, moving to pick her dress up from the floor. The silk was cool on her skin when she slipped inside, turning her back towards Nikolai to signal him to close it for her.

He was already moving, one hand wrapping around her waist while the other closed the dress. His fingertips moved over the skin of her back and Zoya shivered, trying to ignore the unfamiliar sensation as she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to sort it out. 

“Don’t worry,” Nikolai ensured her, still holding onto her. “You still look as well put together as usual.”   
  
She wasn’t quite sure if he had meant it as a compliment, but she pulled away nonetheless, briefly gazing into the mirror to check whether she had any bruises on her skin. But she had gotten lucky today, apparently. “Move, your Highness, we don’t want anyone to worry about your whereabouts, do we?” 

Nikolai rolled his eyes, but followed her anyway. The walk back to the ballroom was silent, and Zoya was suddenly cold, as if the lack of Nikolai near her was making her freeze. Perhaps she was truly losing her mind over this. 

Zoya sent the king into the room first, lingering in the empty hallway for a moment. She shrieked as the door was suddenly opened, and to her great despair Kirigin met her surprised stare. 

“Commander Nazyalensky,” he greeted perfectly polite, stepping closer. “I was looking for you earlier.” 

Zoya forced a smile onto her lips. “I was catching some fresh air,” she replied, pushing past him, hoping to slip back into the room. 

However she did not quite get so lucky. “If you change your mind about visiting my estate-”   
  
She interrupted, her impatience getting to her. “I will let you know,” was all she said before walking away, ignoring the little voice in her head telling her that Nikolai needed Kirigin, that Ravka needed Kirigin. But not tonight. She would deal with that problem later. 

The next problem waiting for her - because this was Ravka, and there were always more problems - was Genya, who had her arms crossed and her eye narrowed, apparently already having gotten to Nikolai. He shot Zoya an amused glance when she stopped next to him, facing Genya. 

“Where have you been?” she demanded to know, her gaze sweeping over the wrinkles on Zoya’s dress, her slightly messy hair. “You can’t just both leave my party!” 

Nikolai looked actually apologetic, giving Genya his best puppy dog eye look. “It won’t happen again, Genya dear, I promise.” 

Zoya had no apology to offer, and so she simply waited it out, her eyes noticing Kirigin slipping back into the room. “Just how dependent is Ravka on his favour?” she muttered in Nikolai’s direction, who lifted his head to follow her gaze. 

“Very much”, he replied, a certain edge to his voice which she could not quite read. “Did you break his heart yet?” 

“He asked me what kind of flowers you might like the other day,” Genya noted, a certain amusement to her tone. “I told him you hate flowers, and he should rather opt for something more expensive.” 

Zoya rolled her eyes. Although this was indeed quite concerning. “It’s just a crush, he’ll get over it.” Many men had. 

Genya sighed. “Let’s hope so. We’re lucky that so far he finds your rejection rather charming.” 

Zoya glanced at Nikolai, who had tensed beside her. His eyes were still on Kirigin, following his every move. She knew exactly what he was thinking. “Don’t even consider it,” she spoke her thoughts out loud, causing Genya to raise her brows. 

“What?” she wanted to know. 

Zoya moved closer towards the king, making her voice low enough for everyone else to miss. “Let it go, Nikolai,” she said, her eyes searching his. 

For a moment he only looked at her, his hazel eyes so clear, his body so close to hers. She was tempted to move closer, tempted to run her fingers through his golden curls. Right until Genya cleared her throat, and Zoya snapped out of the memory. 

She stepped back, blowing a strand of hair away from her face. “He’s thinking about having a word with Kirigin,” she answered Genya’s question at last. “But the country can hardly afford that. We need his estate.” 

“The estate he so generously keeps inviting you to,” Nikolai replied sharply. 

Zoya rolled her eyes. “Stop it.” Jealousy had no place in politics. Although she couldn’t deny that it made her feel just a tiny bit satisfied. 

Genya was watching the two of them with mild interest, sighing eventually. “Let’s have more drinks,”, she muttered dryly. “This is going to be a very long winter solstice.” 

“I’ll look for Tolya,” was all Nikolai replied, turning on his heel and walking off. 

Zoya watched him leave for a moment, then turned to Genya. Nikolai’s bruised pride could not be her concern right now. And the night had only just started. “Drinks sound good.” 

Genya smirked, shooting Zoya a knowing look. “You shouldn’t wear silk when you plan to sneak of to a secret rendezvous,” she remarked. “The wrinkles give you away.” 

“Very funny,” Zoya replied dryly, smoothing out the fabric with her hands subconsciously. If anyone else but Genya noticed there could be talk, and she didn’t need any extra worries on her plate right now. “We need a way to deal with Kirigin,” she added. 

Genya huffed. “Why, so the king doesn’t strangle him the next time he asks you to visit him?” 

Quite exactly for that reason. They had reached the bar, Zoya already pouring herself a drink. Nikolai had disappeared in the crowd, and she could only hope that he had found Tolya and calmed down. Ravka was deep enough in crisis already, and Count Kirigin was rich and trustworthy - for now. They needed him on their side. “One day I’ll have to go,” she remarked, glancing at Genya for a second. “I can’t turn him down forever.” 

Genya raised a brow, suddenly frowning. “You do know why he keeps insisting.”   
  
Of course she did. He wanted the one thing everyone wanted from Zoya, although by now she had gotten used to it. She took a sip of her drink. “We can’t lose Kirigin’s aid. Without our military testing and his secrecy, we are defenseless against the Kerch, against the Shu.” 

Genya leaned forward, tucking an auburn curl behind her ear. “He’ll move on. Just keep him waiting and guessing.” Her gaze was worried. “We won’t let it get any further.” An empty promise, even if she meant well. 

Zoya only nodded, setting her glass down. The alcohol was burning in her throat. 

Just in this moment, Genya shrieked. “It’s snowing!” she noticed, and all dread from her voice was suddenly gone as she peered through the window, out into the darkness of Os Alta. 

Ravka didn’t get a lot of snow, so Zoya tried to share her excitement for once. Genya was already rushing out onto the balcony and Zoya followed, although she immediately regretted it as the cold cut through her bones and she shivered in her thin dress. Small snowflakes were falling from the sky, already coating the ground white. Genya had disappeared in the dark and so Zoya stayed behind for a moment, watching the snow fall. It was a moment of seldom piece. 

Someone stepped outside behind her, and she didn’t need to turn to see who it was. “Already finished doing smalltalk?” she asked without looking at Nikolai, crossing her arms to avoid shivering from the cold. 

“I have a special talent for charm, Nazyalensky, I don’t need to do much,” he replied, the hint of a smirk in his voice as he slipped out of his jacket, draping it around her shoulders. “Why are you out in the cold? Enjoying the brooding look?” 

Zoya pulled the jacket closer around her. It smelled like Nikolai, and for a moment she was tempted to close her eyes, to give in to the illusion of warmth around her. But she held back, instead shooting him a sharp glance. 

But Nikolai smiled, his eyes gleaming in the dark. “Don’t worry, you look very beautiful with snow in your hair,” he remarked, the words teasing, but his tone very honest. 

Zoya stilled, not daring to look at him. Instead she watched the snow. 

A few seconds passed in silence, before Nikolai spoke again. “Are you going to come pick up your gift later?” he asked, the question innocent, but she knew what he meant.  _ Are you going to stay the night and then slip out first thing in the morning before anyone dares to notice?  _

She wanted to say no. She really did. But she was wrapped up in his jacket, and the little trip upstairs to his chambers was still lingering at the back of her mind. “Perhaps,” she replied, this time allowing herself to briefly glance at him. “If you make it worth my while.” 

Nikolai flashed a grin, lightly chuckling. “I think that can be arranged.” 

Genya did actually insist on them staying the entire rest of the night. Zoya kept close to her and David, avoiding the glances Kirigin kept shooting in her direction, especially the more drinks he had. She didn’t wish to deal with that right now. Not tonight. 

Zoya eventually left the ballroom as one of the last people, preparing herself to walk upstairs to the king’s chambers. Perhaps that made her a fool, but that was not going to stop her. 

However fate was not on her side, and she managed to run into a very drunk Count Kirigin once more. He was leaned against one of the walls, waving at her as she passed. He smelled strongly of whiskey, his usually neat hair ruffled. “Commander,” he greeted, raising the glass he was still holding. One drink too many, perhaps. 

Zoya resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “You should get some sleep,” she remarked, keeping her voice dry and distanced. He would hardly remember his encounter tomorrow anyway. 

“You could take me to your room,” he offered, perhaps the most upfront offer he had ever made. It was the whiskey talking, clearly. 

“You are in no state to be taken to bed,” she replied, only because she was taking pity on him, and because she did not wish to be cruel tonight. “Goodnight, Kirigin,” she added, walking past him and rushing upstairs, not turning around. 

When she knocked on Nikolai’s door she felt uneasy, playing with the fabric of her dress to keep her hands occupied. 

The king glanced at her as he opened the door and let her in. “What happened?” he instantly asked, reading the expression on her face like an open book. 

“Count Kirigin is quite drunk,” Zoya informed him, avoiding to meet his eyes. “He is searching for a chamber to sleep in.” She had taken men to bed for simpler requests, but that time had passed. She was no longer young and cruel. Playing with men for amusement had long lost its charm. 

Nikolai blinked. “I sure hope he didn’t-” 

Zoya dismissed the concern with a wave of her hand. “I refused the offer, no reason to worry.” 

Nikolai was staring at her like he didn’t understand a single word she was saying. “He had no right,” he said eventually. 

She shrugged, walking over to his table and picking up the box from earlier. “Men seldom do, and still that never stops them,” she replied dryly, letting her fingers run over the black lace of the bra. “You really couldn’t choose anything with less fabric, could you?” 

Nikolai was suddenly behind her, placing a light kiss on her neck. “Where’s the fun in that?” he said quietly, his breathing caressing her skin. “If Kirigin keeps bothering you, I will talk to him.” 

Zoya set the box down. “No, you won’t,” she replied, glaring at him over her shoulder. “Your country can’t afford that.” 

“But you can?” he asked in return. 

She could. She had to. “Yes,” Zoya confirmed, her voice more steady than expected. “Someone needs to make sure you don’t run Ravka into the ground.” 

Nikolai huffed, his grip around her waist tightening as he pulled her closer. “If he gets too close to you again, I won’t care about political correctness,” he said very quietly, his warm breath brushing against the shell of her ear. “I’ll make sure he stops.”   
  
Zoya was tempted to snap that she could take care of herself quite well enough, but something in Nikolai’s tone made her hold back. She turned around, her arms wrapping around his neck as she kissed him, kissed him to forget all that had happened tonight, that might happen soon enough. 

He picked her up into his arms and carried her to the bed, and this night Zoya slept without nightmares, without worries. Even if she did end up sleeping very little. 


End file.
